welcome to chewyan's world(:

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

11Jan2011
11.18pm

today is my fifth month.
our fifth month(:

but it didnt go too well.
it wasnt very happy today.

cause i was so late in the morning,
with the drizzle.
i had to take a cab.

and after a few messages with my baby dearie,
which is suppose to be a gooood thing cause he dun get such chances all the time.
butttttt!!
he told me we wont meet today already.

cause its his mum's bday.

he promised to meet me today,
so i would go home ytd night.

and he even mentioned that he wanna come pick me up from work.

i wore a top i bought with him last time.
something he would seldom see me in.
and something i would only wear when im going to work.
(that is also why he wont see it)
i purposely waited since last week to wear this top on the day that he will come and pick me. ):

and so many other things happened.
like i screwed up the yearend accrual journal and stuff.
like omission or double take in of the invoices for accruals ):

man i really hate this job.
i wanna leave ):

i wanna work something that is meaningful,
or something that i like.
but im apparently stuck.
and im obliged to do everything.
until i can get a job.
):

im on webcam now with dearie.
and msning with him.

it felt so long since it happened.
since he went to NS,
alot of things changed.

we dun have much time together anymore.
i wouldnt consider those as any reasonable amount of time that I NEED TO SEE HIM anyway.

and there are some issues that we have,
that we cant even talk about,
cause we dun have time.

now we have less than a week left together.
before its all over.
before it starts the 5 years.

of endless separations,
and lesser time to get together.

more lonely times alone,
than times spent resting in each other's arms.

as much as i hate it,
but my dearie likes it apparently.
and since he likes it,
we have both thought that he should sign the contract.

and he did.

i guess we will just have to go on and seee.
and we will have to adjust to our time to make this work out...
because...

this is gonna be hard to maintain.
):

actually i would never,
and dun think i can ever maintain or bear a relationship like this.
no time together,
having to be separated and be alone all the time.

but because seanie tan wei liang,
my dearie,
likes this.

im gonna try.
and i do hope its better than what im imagining.
):

i wish this week.
will never end.

i want to have time like this with my dearie.

i really think.
we never get to spend like much time together.
and it just makes our relationship fragile by being like this.
):

i feeel so frustrated.
i dun wanna go to work tml.
i dun wanna send my dearie away to army again.

i dun wanna live a life with no meaningful things.

))):

happy 5th month,
(you at ur house and im at mine)
haha.
(:

Y7:06 AM