LOL.

this is all i can say.

LOL.

LOL.

LOL.



lalallas.

having doubts about myself once again.

i'm feeling really confused inside.

what is on ur mind?

what are you trying to do?

is what i think true?

or is it just me being oversensitive?








and.

do anyone of you out there thinks i am impt to you?

does my feelings make any difference to you?

will you cry if i die?

will you forget me after a few months that i die?



okay.

random i know.

and anyways.

today is such a weird day.

i suspect my body is getting from bad to worse.

i wonder if i am suffering from any illness.

this morning when i was on my usual routine of taking the buses to school,

it was as though i got seasick right after i alighted from 911!

the whole world seems to be unstable.

and i cant walk straight,

i kept falling onto the metal railings.

O.O

was so scared.

wondered what happened.

but den it recovered after i sat down at the benches near the 963/966 buses.

den just now in school,

i had this feeling that my heart jumped all the way up to my throat.

O.O

something like in the movies Death Note.

you know, like before they die, they got this heartbeat beat super strong scene?

yeah. that was it.

BUT OF COURSE, I DIDN'T DIE.

lol.

i wonder what is happening to my body.

i dont wanna die.

but i dont wanna see doctors and eat medicine either.


oh wells.

no point thinking so much over it.

sihui thinks its nothing really.

=)



just now went to the pasar malam at cwp,

and bought the sailormoon super s dvds!

they are nice,

but i still want the tv series one.

hmmm..

i asked the uncle to ask for me if they can try to get the tv series.

and i think he onli fu yan me when he said he'll help me ask lor.

hahahas.



and now.

after bathing,

its BLAW.

test and presentation tml.

crucial.

HEHE.





okay then. BYEBYE~

OMG.

my sister-in-law at penang just called us.

she said termites infested her storeroom.

and that is where my parents kept my childhood stuff.

my books.

my toys.

my everything when i was a kid.

i didnt get to see them before they are all gone.

but i can't bear to imagine the termites biting all my stuff..

maybe not seeing them in that state was a blessing in disguise.

i might cry even more.

although you guys might think i am ridiculous,

but have you ever lost something thats very dear to you?

all these things are like kins to me.

they were all i've got back in my childhood days.

they are what spent time with me.

who stayed with me when i get sad after getting bullied in school.

their companion prevented me to commit suicide.

although they doesnt have life,

they were like my friends.

THEY WERE EVERYTHING TO ME.

and they still are.

but now.

they are gone.

GONE.

they are never gonna come back to me.

NEVER.

this is quite a big blow to me.

i just recovered from losing something i really treasure.

WHY?

why do this has to happen?

now i got the pain of losing my treasured things again.

T.T










this is terrible.

i feel so uptight now.

tightened muscles.

faster rate of heartbeat.

upon completing my IS assignment 3 of a reflective blog, i am quite familiar with these symptoms.

and they are physical symptoms of FEAR.

yes fear.

up till now, 17 years of my life.

this is the second time i experience these.

first was when i was next to be called up to get my 'O' level results.

and now the 2nd.

i sense something is wrong.

and i am afraid what is to come will turn out like it once did.

i don't want to face the pain again.

its just me being oversensitive.

i am so scared now.

it was just yesterday night that i wrote down i will put down the feelngs i held on to for the past few months.

and now i sense something similar coming at me.







maybe.

its just me thinking too much.

picking out a situation and thinking about it exclusively.

LOL.

i sound like a LMS lecturer.

but yap. i must be doing just that to get me all freaked out and stuff.






maybe i should just turn in early tonight. =)

yay!

BCA PBL2 presentation is over!

x)

now in class waiting for the remaining groups to finish presenting.

HEHE.

so took the chance to come blog a while.

hmmm.

recently very moody.

not very sure of the reasons.

maybe because its caused by a lot of things,

and they are all mixed up?



one of it.

i am so sick and tired of coming to school.

its not because of my modules.

and its definitely not because of my friends.

its because of the LONG bus journey to and from school.

one hour might not be very long.

but whenever i have to wait for a bus,

i just get really fed up.

WHY CANT NGEE ANN POLY HAVE A STRAIGHT BUS FROM WOODLANDS INTERCHANGE?!

@.@

but i heard there's gonna be shuttle buses to school from woodlands interchange in april.

WOW.

i hope it's real.

and it wont be a disappointment.

HEHE.



i'm crazy about this song chien wen sang in the SCC，聆听。 and one from the channel u song composing competition S-POP. 谢谢你的好。

SCC is NP's song composing club. and that song was composed by her seniors!

wow.

its like so cool.

hehe.



well.

now maybe a little facebook.

HEHE.





see you~

blog here first.

den move on to my LMS blog.

LOL.




there's no more tuesdays.

and most probably never will.

cause i heard something from my dar dar ah ying.

haiX.





let's see.

erm, its just a few more weeks before exams.

now so mani things are gonna be due.

so busy.

tml is LMS conflict management presentation.

18th jan is LMS blogpost.

20th jan is BCA elearning quiz and submittion of PBL2.

22nd is BLAW presentation.

23rd is BCA past year paper.

den BMGT proposal dont know due when. LOL.

29th is BLAW class test 5%.

and after all these..

EXAMS.


OMG.



hahahaas. okay i got to go now.

byebye~

i feel so moody now.

after so long i havent posted.

and now i've come to blog about me being moody.

sorry.

well. usual subject.

YOU.

you really were the start of all my pain.

ever since u left me, everything around me changed.

i no longer have luck.

and there were more troubles than ever.

but i still cant stop missing you huh.

ARGH.

den its FFA.

am really devastated about my common test results.

all my friends got more marks den me.

i onli got 29/40.

LIKE OMG.

that's a B.

A VERY LOW ONE.

argh.

i dont know what went wrong.

i mean, its such a big blow to me.

and all the more when i felt confident after taking the paper back then!

its like i didnt know where my errors are!

OMG.

den when we went through the papers, i didnt bring my question paper.

and even if i did, i doubt i have the strength and mood to check back then.

cause i was just so devastated by the B.

and did i say about my careless mistake in BLAW that made me a B??

that A was mine.

I GOT AN A.

but i ticked the wrong option in my answer sheet.

OPTION E IS NOT EVEN AN OPTION!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN.

at least i can console myself saying i did get myself an A.

it was just because of the careless mistake.

but what about FFA?!

its not just one mark or two from an A you know.

its like SO MANY MARKS away.


i feel so useless now.

poa used to be what i am proud of.

but not now.


its like i lost my forte.

the only thing i was good at.

NOW GONE.

i am so heartbroken.

i totally feel like crying.




i want my FFA answer sheets back.

your love gives me wings.

simple.
loving.
cheerful. (:

to wait for the day when i will give you everything in this world.