come to think of it... i've had this blog since so many years ago.
i bet everytime im here to write something, i sound different. cause in between the time when i come back to blog, it seems like i have endless things to learn from. to reflect on.
as usual, tonight is one of the nights when i feel really restless. had been like that for abt 2 months now....
restless and dun feel like just going to bed so early.
although i may sound different everytime im here to blog, i realise the thing i've always asked for has been the same.... and hah....
its not here yet.
the feeling just gets stronger everyday.
and there's nth i can do abt it.
i only know i've got to pick myself up. and keep myself together. if i could still do that....
many many things have changed. and i find myself dropping into a vicious cycle of just taking everyday as it comes.
i never look forward to a new day.
and i dont wake up feeling all piped and energised and that everything is gonna be ALRIGHT.
im just... not as cheerful as i used to be.
guess this is what u become as u grow up...?
i really hope for time to stop at a night like this... so that tml wouldnt come and that i have to report for work again. and that i could enjoy the moment... closing my eyes, soothing songs playing through my earphones and touching my soul. feeling not too hot and not too cold.
i suppose all my efforts had shown that efforts doesnt always equal to results. life is unfair.
even till today, im like holding on and waiting for a miracle to happen. which wont be.
its like.... if the miracle dun happen ever, i will never be truly happy ever again...
i used to get rid of my moodiness with a sleep and wake up feeling fine. or sing karaoke to get all my moody feelings out, and would feel much better after the session.
but none of them are working now.
and i've turned to crying for a choice.
it hasnt been of much use either. but at least, it clears off that heart grasping feeling i have almost every night and day for that moment.
i wonder what age am i going to die.
Y7:30 AM
skyward
your love gives me wings.
her
simple.
loving.
cheerful.
(:
destined
to wait for the day when i will give you everything in this world.
