welcome to chewyan's world(:

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

30Nov'10
11.43pm

byebye november.
and here comes december.

actually december is the month of the whole year that i really like.
because there is this occasion called christmas.
and there will be so many christmas trees,
decorations,
from shiny,
to classic nutcracker style,

and with the familiar christmas jolly songs playing in shopping malls etc,

it just gotta be my fav month of the year.

but this year.
ive felt so many times when i look at myself and at the time of the month.

my months have never passed as fast as what had happened during my stay at this job.

it took away alot of my time.
and before i know it,
ive been there working for 1 year and 3 months since the day i stepped in to report being an IA.
haha.

i hate to believe i actually spent my whole 19 years old working my ass off.
lol.

in something i dun quite know if i like or not.

i just feeel kinda wasted when i think back.
and well me and my colleague has chosen to finally make our move too (:
so it'll be really over soon
(:

anyways,
that isnt the main point of this blogpost.

ive decided to dedicate my blogposts to my dearie, seanie tan wei liang for this period of time.
because hes away serving NS,
and as much as i wish i could involve him in my life,
we cant.

and so this can serve as a catchup for him.
(:

2nd night of hid fieldcamp.
no call no sms.
im still hanging on alright.

hahaha,
but i dont think its any longer.
:x

i pray that it will not rain anymore for the whole of this week.
or my poor dearie has to sleep in the mud ):

and i pray that hes careful,
and safe from harm out in this fieldcamp...

and to be immune to germs and whatever not,
so he wont fall sick!

(:

im wearing your jacket now(:
its like so warm and fuzzy.
because it makes me feeel you around.

just like when i hold the necklace around my neck.
i feeeel so calmed...
and soothing...
(:

and btw.
the track and field jacket,
its softer than the sailing one hehehe.
: D

the jacket really keeps me warm.
both outside and the inside.
deep down(:

and seaniee baby,
hes accompanying me when you're not around(:
hees.

so huggable.
just like you!
(:

dearie you're missed.
(:

im waiting for you to book out(:
hees.

iloveyou,
silly cute adorable sugary nonsensical BABY DEARIEE! (:

Y7:31 AM

Monday, November 22, 2010

22Nov'10
1.21am

tomorrow got work ):
but here i am.

still on my com.

gonna write here then head off to bed...
tired.

today wasnt a very good day i guess.
and currently im still feeling a little heat.
cause i was kinda upset and angry and all the unpleasant feelings all gathered into one.

dearieee i was sooooo upset that we had to cut off from our convo.
of course i understand your situation.
i just.....
hate the fact that it has to be like that.

we cant even talk for more than 20mins a day.

and now that you're caught for using the phone, you can only book out on sat ):

im just feeling better about the fact that they didnt confiscate your phone.

or else it would be torturous for the next few days):

soo yeah.
after one whole day of frustration and dragging my feet to continue working,
my dearie had to go cause officer came in and caught him using phone after lights out ):

and i thought that would be the end of my lousy day.

but thats not all.

my parents quarrelled.
and they seldom do so.
cause they seldom communicate anyway.

its all because of money ):
and believe me,

it wasnt pretty to be sitting on the floor beside them and watching them shout at each other.
they even cursed and swear.

i just hope things would get better or something.
):

and i hate my dad's attitude.
we are trying to tell him how's the situation like so that we can understand the whole family situation and all his FUCKING negative thinking always have to come in.

and then he will start acting.
ACTING PITIFUL.
ACTING COOL.
ACTING FIERCE.
ACTING in whatever he can act in ):

I SERIOUSLY hate ppl, esp close ones, to hide from each other how we feeel.

i just feeel hes trying to take it in and that hes trying hard.
he doesnt wanna bother us.

BUT HIS ATTITUDE IS CAUSING OUR BOTHER.
FUCK.

i hate ppl who dont get that point.
and these are the ppl i hate the most other than hypocrites.

people whom are like sarcastic and start stabbing themselves to make people pity them cause they feel guilty for "ill-treating" them.

when sometimes we didnt even ill treat them!

FUCKKKKK.

arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

dearie.
i wished you could have been there for me or something...

but i know its impossible.
cause.

you're not here. ):

and we cant help it.

i wish you understand how i feeel and feels about the same.
the same sadness.

so that i know you mind this situation now alot too, just like me.

and i really wish, you understand and feel happy about the things that i tell you every now and then.

although you said its because you've got no time to reply.

i understand.
so if you really understand and they actually sound lovely to you,
im happy.

but i need to know.
so that my thoughts wont go negative too ):

i still dont own alot of confidence in myself.

goodnight everyoneee.
tired sia.
tml is another f*** work day. ):

Y9:11 AM

Sunday, November 21, 2010

21Nov'2010
11:35pm

heyhey!(:

here to update cause dearie has went to sleeeeeeepppppppppppppp.
ytd got fever, now got sore throat and runny nose. ):

i wish i could seriously do something to help him feel better.
):

and i just realise when im typing this,
im such a unfilial daughter!
lol.

my mum has been sick for like one week.
like seriously sick.
and i didnt do anything.

o.o

shit.

but well it just feeels different.
hurhur.

and well dearie, just wanna come here and blogg..
tell u how i feeeel. (:

i wonder when u will be reading this.
hahahaha.

i just cried after so long i feeel.
like alot of days didnt cry when u call le.

just now did.

misssss u!!

i finally understood why girls find it hard to maintain the relationship when it comes to the NS period.

cause its just freaking less than 1/2 an hour of communication for each day.

and thats like 1/2 in 24hours.
):

but i wont be like them who really cant take it and ends up ugly dearie!
rest assured.
(:

i'll just wait.(:

and you said when eventually everything is over, things will get better right?
like we can meet up and stufff.

im waiting. (:

and today farah passed a present she picked with hafiz for my bday!
(:

so nice.

its a music box playing 'Fly me to the moon' (:

heees.

tomorrow's gonna be a sucky day.
long and rushy.
and when i mean long,
its LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
lol!

so yeah.

i must really step on it on the search.
=/

PEOPLE HELP ME!
hahahahaaa.

gonna hug seanie baby to sleeeeep!!
and with bunbun and piglet : D

hehehe.

goodnight dearie!
goodnight everyone!
(:

show u guys the picture of seanie baby!

Y7:16 AM

Friday, November 12, 2010

13Nov'10
3.14pm

gonnna go out soon.
to a dinner from cuzzie's bf.
with my family and relatives and her mum.

today is the day!
im 20years old.
wow.

hahahahaa.

im getting older and going in the adult phase.

well now im going out soon so im gonna make this blogpost short.
i'll come back again.

i just wanna tell my dearieee that i wished you were here.
but yappp ur necklace is with me.
so i feeeel you with me(:

moreover, now that im still at home.
I HAVE SEANIEEEEEE BABY! (:
i promise i wont cry today(:

wait for u to come out kays?

and wanna tell u,
ive decided to dedicate a time down to write in our storybook.(:
i have so many ideas i wanna write in it!
(:

lets read it together when you're out(:

MUACKS.
(:

HAPPY BDAY ONG CHEW YAN.
(:

20 years ago, i was born to this world.
(:

Y11:04 PM

Monday, November 08, 2010

08Nov'10
10:47pm

dedicating this post to a honey bunny cuteeee lil boy.
seanie tan wei liang.
who is going to serve his NS starting from this thurs.
(:

im writing this when you're running!
hehehehe.

well, firstly i would like to apologise for losing my cool just now when we met up.
trust me, i felt really cramped.
wanna angry or upset also dun know.
and i was so afraid of making you upset or angry.
hahahaa.

im always like that when i get angry or upset.
i dun know what to do.
cause letting out and blast,
will be unreasonable and bitchy or etc.

but i cant control and still smile.
LOL.

so that face you saw is the best i can make out of.
LOL!!

sorry dearie(:
seriously.

and thanks for still trying to cheer me up back there.
and giving me time to settle down and talk to you.

and well.
i would like to make a post here to remember the days and nights we spent together the last weekend!

it feels so sweeeeeet.
it feels so like it can last forever,
it feels so like it is still gonna happen today, later, or tomorrow.

but of course, it doesnt.
):

but i guess these 4 days is all i can hold on to and use to remember(:
until we have more.
(:
will have one right? (:

let me summarise all the things i missed currently.
they may not come in sequence. hehehehe.
here goes.

djmax, max-comboing.
megaminddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!
ilumaa.
cudddleeeeeeeeeeeesss first and last thing of each day~~~
pastamania. hahahahha!
bunbun and nini.
bus ride home.
preparing to go out together~~~

seeing you first thing in the morning and closing my eyes seeing your face, and with you near.

your prescence,
your nonsenese.
your act cuteeeeeeeeee patterns. :p

hehehe.
many many more.

thanks for spending the weekend with me dearie.
this long long one.
will stay with me in my heart and mind(:

and aiya.
you see lah.

never take photos.
its like.

never even took one.
):

now cant dedicate one pic for this post ):
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

dearieeee.
promise that we will take more photos next time and in the futureeeeeeeeeeeee alright?
:D
hehehehe.

PINKY PROMISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

dearieee.
i really hope you really think im the good sticky.
and believe i wont be a bad gf to you.

hearing you say it out just now.
really makes me happy and touched i guess.
it made my eyes wet! (:

hehehe.

double eyelidddddddddddddddds.
:p

dearieeeeee arh........
i dun know if im gonna be okay when you're in NS.
away for that three weeks.

for now,
i believe i can hold on and stay strong.
just like you want me to.

but i really dont know.

i guess we'll just wait and seeeee yah.
heheheehe.
im sure i'll be fine.

cause you left SEANIE to keep me company! (((((:
hehehehe.

and dearieee.
lastly before i end this post.
i really mean it when i say,
the only meaningful things that i feeel i do each day now is all about you.

its like.
i feeeel like my sole purpose and meaning in life,
is my partner.

and thats you now.
right?
(:

i wish in time,
we will have our own freedom.
to spend alone time together as and when we want em.
(:

and that we are in control of whatever we do.
and that we do not have to care about bidding them when we feeeel like doing things.
(:

dearieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
love you love you love you.
(:

Y6:37 AM