welcome to chewyan's world(:

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

11March'09
5.33pm

helloooos people. (:

am currently in malaysia,penang.
using my cousin's com to come online.
hehe.

not gonna be contactable for a period of time.
maybe two weeks.
maybe longer.

not gonna be able to come online very often either.
cause i dun have a com and a connection.
and i'll be moving all around.

i wonder if anybody would miss me.
hahas.

first day here and theres nth much to do.
and its raining.
so its super cold.

gonna get a new hairstyle soon.
hmmmm.

hopefully it turns out nice.
(:

and i think ive gained so much weight!!
im so fat now.
my god.
freaking fat.
):

hmmm.
and i guess things doesnt work and happen the same way for everybody.

people in this world dont share the same sentimentals with each other.
they dun think the same.
they dun feel the same.

and we shouldnt get so upset and affected by it.
right?
=/

but i guess its easier said than done.

and hey people.
how would u define love?
(:

very interested :P
do tell me! :P

these few days had been looking at myself.
not really on the physical side.
more on the inside.

i kinda dislike the chewyan now.

i used to think i shouldnt be influenced by the environment.
i should stay as who i am for the rest of my life.
a person who would treat everyone nice.
a person who treats everyone equal.

but i guess i changed.
the change had turned me into someone who i dun really like.

im already been affected by the environment.

i lost my patience.
i lost my cool when things happen.
i lost my cheerfulness.

im no longer optimistic.

i think ive become kinda irritating.
or annoying.
or something.

i lost some friends.
maybe thats proof.

i believe all this change had happened cause of things that came and went off in my life.

and esp because of how i handled them.

the way i handled them.
the thinking i have handling them.
and how the things developed in the end.
they caused my change.

i dun know if this change is good for me or bad.
like in the long run or something.

but i feel like ive lost the good old chewyan in me.
and i dun like that.

does anyone feel the same way as i do?

call it thinking too much.
but i think sometimes everyone should sit down and think.

think about how have you handled stuff,
minor to major recently.

were you nice?
did you hurt anyone?
did you lose yourself to get something you want?
was the thing you wanted really what you want?
how would you feel if you're in that person's shoes?
things like that. etc.

and ive come to realise a few things:

LOVE is when all you need is his/her smile.

LOVE is when you care for him/her more than you care for yourself.

there're a few things i still believe in,
but had been weakened by others' thoughts, :

when you love someone, everything you do, a smile, the tone you speak, the efforts put in and every other thing is all natural. is straight from the heart.
(but everybody has a different standard, and doesnt have the same 'basics'.)

you should always sit down and think about stuff. whether its going right or wrong. and etc. and if you think abt it, it just means its impt to you.
(you're thinking too much and finding trouble for yourself.)

a few more things.
but i cant really remember what are they.
all random thoughts that i think is worth the thinking in life.

anyways.
apart from all my thoughts,
i just wanna say,

take care everyone in spore!

esp you dear.
get well soon....
sorry i disturbed you from resting.

byebye.

Y2:29 AM