welcome to chewyan's world(:

Friday, September 12, 2008

13Sep08
12:50am

hey hellos.

just finished chatting on the phone with my dar ahying.

tml gonna meet her go tampines mall to buy her things.
=]

suddenly felt like blogging.
today didnt end very well.

i got moody.
that lonely feeling again.

i believe i dun have to cover up and hide from my friends.
but i dun know who to confess to.
thought it might be irritating too,
since everytime i'm moody over the same things.

so thought i'll blog it out.
and u guys can read if u want to.

i got moody.
cause i feel lonely.

and friends who had been with me for sometime,
should know,
what i want.

and the thing i yearn for cannot be forced.
i dun wanna force it either.

cause i want a lasting one.
not just some temporary thing.

i've sucessfully given up on you, you, you and you.

now the guys in my list are just whom i feel good about.
no particular target currently.

actually another thing i feel like blogging is.
this thing that my dar told me thats abt me.
and i always realise it after things i dun like happen.

she told me.
i very fan. (irritating)
i always stick to ppl.
i always cant stop looking for ppl.

and i fail to know when ppl are irritated and dont feel like talking to me anymore.
i just keep talking to them.
=/

just now i was talking to this guy.
whom i am so happy to hear from him again,
after so long..

yeah i guess i was abit overwhelming.
i kept talking to him whenever i have the chance.

i told myself not to talk to him just now.
when he signed in.
but in the end,
i failed to.

i guess he's irritated.
i hope he doesnt get annoyed and ignores me again.

and dar told me.
of all the stories i told her about my life,
she concludes i am a very irritating person.

as in i keep talking to the person i want to.
without really thinking if the person wants to talk to me.

and if that person never reply me,
i'll keep talking to him/her.

yeah kinda true..
=/

but those people whom experienced this from me,
i am sorry.
i didnt mean to.
i just feel like and wanna talk to you.

if i ever do get irritating,
tell me.
i'll stop.

i think i am better off keeping my mouth shut.
since i was a kid,
alot of ppl didnt like the way i am.
always lots of noises.
always talking.
always crapping.

i dont mean to irritate you.
its just i like to be around people.
i like to have people with me.

cause well i am alone at home.
and i'm almost always at home.

maybe i am just
attention seeking,
noisy,
and irritating.

i am just a person who dont care about other people.

maybe..

maybe keeping quiet..
is the only way out.

anyways,
i'm also tired of being the noisy and cheerful one everytime.
i want people to come to me as well.

i've been always acting like a clown,
(in my opinion)
and being all cheery,
cause i thought it'll make the atmosphere better.

seriously,
i like to see people smile.

sorry people.

Y9:22 AM