Wednesday, February 13, 2008
i just blocked someone in msn again.
maybe i'll unblock him tml or something.
hey everyone out there.
do you think i am important to you?
i know this is abit random.
but back just now.
a old friend came to talk to me.
okay he's a guy.
it has been quite sometime since he last talked to me.
the last time was regarding his schoolwork.
he asked me in a very harsh manner.
well, it has always been like that.
and today.
he asked if i know what present to get for our pri sch friend.
she's a girl.
she's my good friend.
i dont deny but i am jealous.
jealous of why everyone seems to care about her so much.
but nobody cares about me.
i am jealous of her.
but she is still my friend.
its the guys i am upset about.
you know,
HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE.
if i have to count, my ten fingers are not enough to count the no. of guys that treat me like this.
ppl say i take it too personally.
but it's the truth!
all of them onli talk to me when they need my help.
or when they are bored and wanna use me for entertainment purpose.
it reminds me of my pri 5 and 6 days.
THEY WERE SUCH JERKS.
but i chose to give in.
i chose to smile and play along with them.
BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS.
i dont wanna be disliked by ppl.
but up till this day.
it continues.
they might not physically bully me anymore.
but their unintentional behaviour makes me upset.
is my personality bad?
i might not be pretty and cute.
but i thought it doesnt matter very much?
so okay,
it does matter,
but,
I DONT THINK I AM THAT WORSE TO DESERVE THIS KINDA TREATMENT!
so why is it like that?
is it that hard to treat me better?
to treat me good?
i dont know anything.
i am so upset.
last oct,
i was so happy,
someone stepped into my life.
i thought my life would change.
i thought somebody will give me care and concern.
give me attention.
to be by my side.
but it was not meant to be.
but he made me see another side of life.
THANKS. :)
ARH!!!!!!!!!!
upset.
but i still have to do homework.
i will jiayou de. :D
Y9:57 PM
