welcome to chewyan's world(:

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

4Nov'09
11.02pm

i really think its beenn soo sooo long since im truly happy deep down.

but who cares.
right?

im not here to complain today.
just wanted to blog abit.

i was watching NEW MOON'S trailer.
omgggggggggg.

i so wannnna watch.

I CAN TELL ITS VERY NICE ALREADY.
(:

belle.
bella.
and me.

we all have something in common.

maybe i should dye my hair brown too.
haha.

since they found their breathtaking love in the end,
im sure i will end up with mine too.
right?
:/

goodnight everyone.

im really tired already...

sweet dreams everyone..
take good care of urself ppl.
(:

Y6:49 AM

Monday, November 02, 2009

2Nov'09
8.32pm

this is a song by M2M.
had been years since i heard this song.

but i sort of get the feeling of the song.
and understood how it feels through the song.

its been a while since i dedicated u any songs.
so this one is for u. (:

M2M - Pretty Boy

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I've only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

[BRIDGE]
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

Y4:18 AM

Sunday, November 01, 2009

1Nov'09
10.26pm

i really feel that my life is in a mess now.

wish i could make everything okay.

like as soon as possible.

i realise im not truly happy anymore deep down inside.

and i thought i were.

i wish everything between us would be alright..

and that i could have some time to get back.
i need a long break.

i need a shoulder to lean on.
a heart to love me.

Y6:08 AM

Saturday, October 31, 2009

31Oct'09
12.55am

its been a while since i came to blog.

cause my com was down for nearly a month.
dc board spoilt.
sent it to acer and now yap working.

just got it like one week ago.
and just thought i should blog today.

to say the truth im not feeling very well right now.

not exactly physically.
though i feel abit cold.
must be due to the rainy weather.

emotionally.
yes.

i really HATE.
hate myself now.

cause i think i upset somebody.
somebody whom i dun want to hurt.

it wasn't intentional.
i wasn't trying to hide anything bad that i've done.

i was just worried that if i just say the truth,
he will get angry or upset and just walk off from me.

i really cant take it if he walks off from me cause i made him angry.
ever again.

so i lied.

i didnt tell him the entire truth.

and hours later.
when he asked.
i admitted.
cause i didnt feel good about lying.

I DUN WANNA LIE TO HIM.

but i was really really scared that he will be angry.
and flare up at me.

i really really cant take it.

the reaction was so instant,
my fear took over.

my reaction was too fast.
that i onli realise i lied after i finish my sentence to him.

after 5mins.
i wanted so much to revoke and tell him i was joking.
and tell him the truth.

but hes definitely gonna be more angry like that isnt it?

and i shut.

i really didnt want things to turn this way.

i dun want him to leave me like this.
to walk away like this.

it really hurts.

im so so so sorry.
please don't be angry or upset anymore.
can?

i know saying sorry doesnt help.
but i dun know what to do.

im so so afraid whenever u get angry.
whenever u get upset.

im so sorry. ))):

i really hope u wont walk away on me.
not like this...
)):

ps. idly.

Y9:40 AM

Monday, August 17, 2009

17Aug09
4.45pm

i should be moving on like u.

but i cant stop thinking abt u.

and i miss u.
):

and all the things we said we will do and places we would go..

they will never happen already isnt it?

):

why....

why cant that person be you?
))):

take care.
and misses*

Y1:33 AM

Sunday, August 16, 2009

16Aug09
5.18pm

tell me.

will i ever feel that way?

mummy had been watching this hk drama recently.
Click入黄金屋。

there's this background music that they have in the show.

its a love song between a couple.

the guy composed it for her.
(:

its a very beautiful piece of instrumental i would say.

and actually what caught my attention was that he plays it with a harmonica(:

im listening to that song now.
(:

well in that show,
i didnt watch all.
but saw abit here and there.

saw their sweet times.

really sweet.

but there was a point where the girl has to leave him.
cause of some reasons.

and i was so annoyed by the fact that the guy actually went out with another girl.
after she left to go overseas.

but in the end,
i suppose something happened that made them realise how much they love each other,

it was a happy ending with the both of them back together.
(:

cant stop listening to that song.
got pictures and images when i listen to it. (:

and i saw some pictures on facebook.
they are really very happy and sweet together.

im happy for them too.
(:

haha.
i guess i should be back at my notes now.
byebye.

Y2:06 AM

Saturday, August 15, 2009

15Aug09
10:09pm

so long since my last post~~

so im back againn tonight.

was studying and playing fb, viwawa and blah blah for the whole day on my chair with wheels.

my back sourrr sia.
so now im sitting on my bed.(:

comfy comfy.
and very cosy too.

with all my stuff toys and pillows.
haha.

im still wayyy behind my plan to study.

but i wont give up.
cause this is the last time(:

i will do well.

thus, i must put in more effort.
(:

alot of things happened since the last post too.

like the day ta01 and ta03 peeps went to orchard together(:

i call it the G.I.Joe day.
haha.

loveeeeeeee that show!
x)

and of course the companions as well(:

that day was funn.
ate at billy bombers. (never ate there before)

watched G.I.Joe.

went shopping with the guys and the girls.

eating mac as supper.

and sitting at the platform outside taka at night.

and all the laughters and camwhoring the whole day!
from the time we board the bus headed for orchard.
all the way till we parted with eliz at orchard to go home.
(:

den another thing would be two days ago.
firstly, me and serlee (my gf) went to orchard to buy formal wear as well as her nerd glasses.

it was kinda fun.
like a date.
lol.

we even bought couple rings!
(:
one each.

first couple ring of mine.
(:

den shopp along with her,
and i bought two long sleeved top and one pencil skirt at G2000.
having this great sale.

i really like em.
given that the price wasnt very costly.

and the buying of formal wears like this make me feel like im all grown up.

a grown up woman.(:

are gonna use those for my attachment.
which starts on sept7.

and well.
we are confirm not gonna do audit.

but now its like it might be accounts and it might be management accounting o.o

I DUN WANT MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTING OR COSTING.
pleaseeeeeeeeee.
T.T

lol.
but high chance since my last sem rfa got D.
)):

den secondly was we celebrated dad's chinese bday at home with steamboat!
all my favvvv food :D

and of course the fun of cooking it in the pot!
:D

and ahying came over for the steamboat too.
and she brought the clothes i ordered with her on the internet.
from somewhere overseas.

i bought 7.
but onli 3 actually look nice.

got 2 cant wear.
being one cant zip fully at the side.
and another one the cutting is FREAKING small.
)):

the second one is one of my fav.
but even if i slim until left my bones onli also cant wear.
cause the cutting is VERY small.

even ahying said tight. o.o

all in a day.
yap.
(:

as for some other matters.
seems that you had also made a decision huh?

im sorry i had to use such a harsh tone and use such harsh words in our last convo.
but i really think if i dun be straightforward u wont get what i mean.

and we will just continue to beat around the bush.
never getting to the problem.

so since u gave up too.
i guess thats the end.

seriously im really very upset that ive not really got the feeling of being in a relationship.
if relationships is what i thought it was.

that both parties are really really very happy to have each other around.
and that they like each other's company.
and that when things go wrong, the meetup will make one feel better.

many would tell me this is reality.
all that onli happens in dramas and movies.

but look at those.
its just 3 simple things.
WHY CANT IT HAPPEN?

well im someone who believes fairytales do happen in life.
i will not give up that belief.

at least..

not yet.

since uve decided.
i guess its really over.

i dun know why.
but i do miss u.

i am now.

Y6:58 AM